Becky

My name is Becky and I am 23 years old. I was raised in a Christian home with two brothers and two sisters. We were a typical family: we all played sports and went on family vacations. My parents are still together, and we were actively involved in whatever church we attended. I went to private school until 6th grade, and until that point I was certain I would never do drugs, never drink, or give myself to a man before marriage. But just like most teenagers, I struggled with finding my identity and began compromising my morals. I got lost in a world of depression and developed an unhealthy desire for the approval of men, which resulted in shoplifting, drinking, sexual immorality, and bulimia.

When I was 15, my parents sent me to a program for out of control teenage girls because of my behavior. I lived there for a year. Afterwards, I was dead set on proving to everyone that I could make it on my own. I felt as if my parents had thrown me away, and I wanted to show them that I didn’t need them. I started college early, got a job, bought a car, got married, and had a house all by the age of 20. God was nowhere to be found in my life. I was living for myself. My marriage fell apart and when it did, I fell apart. I started drinking and partying every day.

To me, I was just having fun. I decided that I was going to try as many new things as I possibly could and ended up shooting up heroin for the first time at a party. I thought it was all just fun and games. I didn’t think I had an addictive personality. I was very, very wrong. I loved everything about heroin. I didn’t realize that a substance could take every problem away and make me feel so numb. I got lost so fast and before I knew it, I was a full blown daily heroin user. I quickly lost everything I had worked so hard for and ended up living on the street in downtown Portland just chasing my next hit. I would sell drugs and steal to support my habit.

When I couldn’t even support my addiction anymore and got sick of being dope sick, I begged my parents to let me move to their house in Redmond, Oregon and they agreed. I didn’t tell them I had been using drugs and I hid my withdrawals from them. I started drinking right away and then ended up getting hooked on meth. Meth made me completely crazy. I was hearing voices in my head, seeing things that weren’t there. I got arrested for possession of heroin and meth, but I couldn’t stop using. I got arrested again for stealing someone’s wallet out of their purse at the grocery store, and they put me on house arrest, but I still couldn’t stop. I was staying at a motel with my best friend Tyler and was on the run. He took care of me and kept me safe. One night he was going to our friend's house — and I wanted to go, but I hadn’t slept in two weeks — so he said to stay at the motel and that he would be right back, but he never came back that night. The next day I found out that our friend's house had been raided, and Tyler was shot and killed by the police. After that, the desire to even attempt to stay sober was gone. All that mattered was getting high. I went into a meth induced psychosis, had seven arrests, eleven felonies, six misdemeanors, was in jail for months at a time, and went to four different rehabs just to stay out of jail. I would have rather died than be sober. I would have rather died that to feel. They told me that I was going to go to prison for two years unless I stayed sober, but I couldn’t. 

My last two months in jail were waiting to see if they would let me go to Teen Challenge instead of prison. Everyone was against me, but my dad stood up for me in court, and the judge allowed me to come to Teen Challenge. To be honest, I didn’t plan on staying. I was hopeless, helpless, and totally okay with dying a junkie. Part of me hoped that this God thing made me want to be sober, but I already had someone ready to come get me and a place to stay. I told them to just give me two weeks to see how it goes. I didn’t want to go to prison. I hung up the phone with that person as my parents pulled up the hill to our center, and God met me RIGHT THERE. Right there in my brokenness and destruction. Everyone had this light in them that I wanted, but didn’t think I could have. The Lord started filling me with hopes and dreams. With this unconditional love that was so undeserved and so foreign to me. I decided to stay.

I can honestly say God has rocked my world. He has shown me how all the desires of my heart were there for a reason, and that He will use them to fulfill the purpose He has for me. I always dreamed of being a singer and to play the piano, but I was never any good and was too afraid to sing in front of anyone, but since I’ve been here I’ve learned to play the piano, and God gave me the courage and the talent to sing. Now I sing in front of churches all over the state. My calling is to be a worship leader and my dream is to see thousands of people come to Christ and to be a part of it. This program is really hard — and I definitely have had days where I feel like it’s too much — but God so strategically placed people in my life to help me get through those hard times, and now I walk in His fulfilled promises every single day. I am completely free from the chains of addiction, bulimia, stealing, sex, and everything the enemy once bound me with, and I will proclaim Jesus and tell everyone what He has done for me until the day I go to heaven for eternity.

1 Timothy 1:15-16 “Christ Jesus came to the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who might believe on him and receive eternal life.”